"Keep away from small people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." - Mark Twain

Day 99

Availabilty
Carrots are available all year long.

How to Select & Store:
Fresh carrots can be found in the produce section of health food stores and supermarkets. Carrots with the greens still attached have the sweetest flavor; make sure the greens are crisp and fresh looking. Look for firm, bright carrots, without cracks on the sides or sprouts where the green tops have been removed. Remove the greens about two inches (5.08cm) above the carrots and store, tightly sealed, for three to five days.

-.5

Meh

173

Double Meh

Not at the amount of loss? I'I'm all like ::shrug:: today.

This week's secret? The handy dandy checklist. Like literally, I looked @ the scale, took bodyfat measurements and my first thought was I gotta get the morning 20oz of water in. By the time I got back from the gym I was more concerned that the pedometer steps were trending slightly lower than yesterday and I'd have to pick up the pace if I want to hit 10gs today.

The rest of the morning consisted of me in fact picking up the pace, taking long ways to where I needed to go and making a side trip all the way to the basement and back up 3 flights of stairs just to look for something. That's about all I really can do: eat right, workout, rest, stay hydrated, be active during the day.

The other day I had a thought, What if I always stay in the 170's? I'll still get fitter and my overall body fat goes down, but like what if this is my weight. Granted it was a tad irrational thought, but who really knows.

And I had to make peace w/that thought.

Not b/c I'm giving up or not being bothered. But b/c if that is the case, like if that's just what my body insists on doing, I'll be pretty miserable for the rest of my life trying to fight this fight. So the peace came w/me feeling, regardless of what the scale says, I'm going to get as fit as I can.

Running, swimming, real pushups, heavier weights. I'll take all of it. And if I turn out to be one of those people who's doing their thing w/no change for months on end, then one day wakes up and it's like BAM! Where?d that body come from?

Why, I'll take that too

"There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self." - Aldous Huxley

Day 98

There's another commercial that cracks me up and just I just found out it's another one from Citibank Rewards.

An overweight guy in a track/sweatsuit weighs himself sees 249 (I think) and then jogs around the kitchen and weighs himself AGAIN and sees 249! Bwahahaha! The look on his face is priceless.

What makes these things gut busting to me is they ring true.

Keisha, I wish these things were online so I could share the funnies, but I searched & searched. They are nowhere to be found.

Dammit Citibank when you make such funny commercials you gotta show them off online too...it's called viral buzz people.

Ahhh the bloody contract, sitting there working its magic to keep me in line. Yesterday of all days I would oversleep. I thought I hit snooze. Nope I hit off. Then I got to the point where I felt like I was laying there a tad too long but reluctant to look @ the clock b/c if it was only 3 minutes and I still had 7 mins to snooze I would have been furious. But it really did feel too long. I look @ the clock, ½ hour!

I'm now @ the precise point where I joined the Full House fam earlier this year. From here on out I've pretty much seen it all. The one saving grace, early in the year I didn't know they also showed it on the weekends, so that gives me some fresh episodes to look forward too.

"Always aim for achievement, and forget about success." - Helen Hayes

Day 97

Erra...Lord knows I want an iPod as much as the next person (a free one even [I GOT IT ON 1/31/06!]) but my mother would *SLAP* me silly if I pulled something like this.

...daughter of two-time Oscar-winning actress Dianne Wiest was arrested for allegedly beating up one of her classmates and robbing him of his iPod...

Matter of fact if anyone reads a news story about a weight loss blogger robbing someone for their iPod, hell they can *SLAP* me too. I've read about a rise in iPod thefts in NYC, but the daughter of an Oscar winner?!?!?! C'monnnnnnnnn!

Speaking of iPod, there is a Citibank rewards commercial w/a woman running & a guy driving along side of her blasting music. As she runs over sidewalks, he drives over them. She commands him to turn it up or switch the song.

When I first saw it I was cracking up thinking I'd totally do the same thing if I ran outdoors and when it ended and I saw them flash and iPod an then yammmer about the reward program I almost fell outta bed cackling. It was her fake iPod!!!

Bwahahaha

"Man improves himself as he follows his path; if he stands still, waiting to improve before he makes a decision, he'll never move." - Paulo Coelho

Day 96

Cardio Timing: The Secret to Burning Fat Up To 300% Faster - by Tom Venuto

When is the best time of day to do your aerobic exercise? The answer is any time! The most important thing is that you just do it. Continuous cardiovascular exercise, such as walking, jogging, stairclimbing, or cycling, sustained for at least 30 minutes, will burn body fat no matter when you do it. However, if you want to get the maximum benefits possible from every minute you invest in your workouts, then you should consider getting up early and doing cardio before you eat your first meal - even if you're not a "morning person." Early morning aerobic exercise on an empty stomach has three major advantages over exercising later in the day:

I tend to put a lot of things off waiting for the ?right? day. Now that I'm on a ?stay off the scale? kick, I'm already looking forward to May 15th. And that's a bad habit for me to have b/c it takes my mind off what I can be doing now.

So today I'm joining the other cool kids in crafting a contract. And to irk the hell outta my anal side, it won't be for an even amount of weeks. It starts today (eep mid week no less!) and goes thru May 14th. 2 weeks and 5 days to be precise. I'm already breathing funny @ the odd looking #'s. May 14th is when this training block ends @ which point I'll amend the contract.

Yesterday felt like the longest day ever. I was dragging all day. You?d think sleeping most of the weekend would have left me rested. Nope I was groggy. It was a battle to get out of bed to work out and I was so not looking forward to lifting weights later.

The icing on the cake was, I didn't go grocery shopping b/c I thought most of my foods would carry over this week, only to find out the milk expired yesterday and the bread was developing mold. So I thought I'd swing by Publix after I worked out but then decided to just get it over w/since I pass it on my way home.

Woke up this morning to find my site looking like this (click to see entire message):

On a brighter note, I now know what that # next to bandwidth means, as well as the precise moment I should enter panic mode.

"You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be." - David Viscott

Day 95

More thoughts about that thing I use weekly but I shall no longer refer to by name. A reason why I'm stuck like a broken record player on weekly weigh ins is, when I first learned of the world of weight loss bloggers, I found the graph of someone who lost like 40-50lbs and it was over a period of months with each week being a .5-1lb. I was so impressed @ visually seeing small losses adding up, I filed it away as something to do myself.

What would work out GREAT is if I had someone else weigh me, take my bodyfat then hide the #'s. Since my last official weigh in, I know now my bodyfat # by heart. It's like it got seared into my retinas. B/c any given day, I walk around w/so many #'s in my head I usually forgot it each week. But some part of my brain decided to hold onto to it so now each week I know if it's gone up or down and knowing it sucks too.

Being a Libra I have a frustratingly annoying habit of ALWAYS seeing both sides of an issue. Add to that also having a hard time being decisive, b/c I ALWAYS see the freaking other side, last week I emotionally felt like dog chasing its tail.

What set those emotions off was posting about the hussman and bone density articles. None of them factor in the scale. It's all about health. And if I'm trying to be all about the health, running, lifting more, eating balanced and lowering body fat (not necessarily related to the scale per se), why am I surprised @ myself going crazy trying to do two things that's pulling me in emotionally opposite directions?

Weekly weigh in vs. it's not about the scale.

Each week that I weigh in, it's starting to feel like an ordeal. How can I not care? I wanted to be bigger than the scale (so not going for a pun here considering I am in fact, bigger according to the scale), but I wanted to be able see the # and be all ambivalent.

Friday morning I realized what?ll cause ambivalence: a steady downward decline. Any holding steady or inching up makes the heart flutter and the blood boil.

So what to do? What to do?

"The trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more." - Erica Jong

Day 94

I went thru this scenario earlier in the week. In a pinch I had to wear an old pair of size 16 pants. And the damn things fit, albeit baggy, but they didn't drop off my hips when I pulled them up. So it made me think, Well even though I'm a 12, I can probably can squeeze into a 10 if I try. But is that my size? And if I'm judging size by what fits, well I can easily wear an 18 too.

This weeks topic: What makes clothing your size? Do you go solely by what fits? If so do you claim the larger size b/c it can fit too? Or do you go by what you can get on, no matter how tight is? So long as it zips it fits?

"It's not the load that breaks you down, it's the way you carry it." - Lena Horne

Day 93

- Added Contact section and linked to it from every page.

- Added Birthday Shout Outs to the main page. If you add your birthday you'll get an extra Shout Out from moi when it rolls around. Only requirements are your name, URL and day of birth. The year? Your secret.

Quickie Update: Hmmmm...I just realized the birthday script doesn't email me when someone adds their link. Initially I planned to check links once a week, on Sundays, but now I decided to verify them twice a week. On Sunday and midweek. In the meantime I added See all birthdays link so you can see if your bday has been verified. Oh and verified means nothing more than I ok the link so that it'll show up on the shout outs page during your bday month.

I'm still tweaking the layout of that page, not a fan of the table borders.

Tinkering on the site today. Layout may break from time to time. My bad in advance.

done adding:
- temporarily shuffled around page layout
- added top monthly & all time commenters
- most commented entry
(still playing around w/font size)
- fixed broken smilies
- fixed bad div tag @ end of home page
- contact page

to finish adding:
- birthday script
- cookie to move pinned entry? & if so link on side?

"All the masterpieces of art contain both light and shadow. A happy life is not one filled with only sunshine, but one which uses both light and shadow to produce beauty." - Billy Graham

Day 92

Today's weigh in: -.5

173.5

Last weekend I went all Demi Moore circa GI Jane on myself. I chopped my hair w/in an 1 inch, if that much, of my scalp. I blame the hormones. I'd been mulling it over for the past few weeks. Right now I have braids, twists actually, and for the last 2 years as I've gotten rid of my perm and opted to go au natural I've had some form of braid, twists, or cornrows in my head.

This particular set of braids has been w/me since the end of November. 4½ months, I had lots of new growth and since I kept feeling like the ends of my hair had some perm and thru a bad habit I have when I'm online of twirling the left side of my hair while my right hand used the mouse, my hair was a bit uneven and driving me crazy.

Availabilty
Spinach is available year-round, but is best in fall and spring, since it grows best in cool weather.

How to Select & Store:
Spinach should be slightly crisp and bright green. Avoid yellowing leaves or those that are wet and rotting. To store, wrap unwashed spinach in a paper towel and then place in a plastic bag in the refrigerator. If buying bagged spinach, open and sort out the rotting leaves before putting the package in the refrigerator. Depending on how fresh it is at purchase, spinach should be used within two to four days.

My mind was racing last night, lots of fairly stressful situations percolating in the background. I got sleepy @ my normal time but tossed and turned so much I gave up trying. I don't think I fell asleep till 11 and then woke up 2 hours after the alarm went off. Blah.

"To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly." - Henri Bergson

Day 91

Day 90

Day 90! Had I been a by the book kinda gal, I would now be completing 90:. Most of you know I have a hard time really "seeing" myself. When I glance @ myself in a mirror, I feel like nothing has changed b/c all I can see are the areas that need improvement.

Today I decided to put my long sought college degree to use and apply my Photoshop skills (in my case Fireworks, the poor mans Photoshop) to my pudge pics.

So on this day 90, in lieu of a post 90: celebration, I'll present a side of me never before seen on this site...

Yesterday it was Kirk. Today Chelsea (his wife). Ahhh Full House...nepotism @ it's finest. It took me a minute to recognize her I thought she was Amanda Peet.

"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." - Robert Collier

I have always loved Demi Moore. Ever since St. Elmo's Fire. I thought she was crazy beautiful. When she did GI Jane I swooned @ her muscularly Godessness. And even when she disappeared from the spotlight I loved her more b/c she put her kids first and her and Bruce seemed to get along just great.

Well our love affair soured when she came back onto the scene via Charlies Angels Full Throttle and the media couldn't get enough of her looking 40 & oh so fab. Granted, I loved that she looked fab @ 40. I did not like what she was saying.

Ahhh that 3 mile run. So how'd it go?

Mike Seaver aka Kirk Cameron showed up on Full House this morning. I tell ya, if I wasn't already drenched in sweat...I would've needed to find myself a towel...he was a such cuuuuutieee ::wolf whistle::

"Don't regret growing older. It is a privilege denied to many." - Unknown

Day 89

Dear Brain,

Hey there. I know it's usually you talking to me. What can I say? There's been a coup. So what's up with you trying to talk me out of running 3 miles str8 tomorrow? You do realize I've done 30 mins str8 via Couch to 5k right? 3 miles is just a measly 10 more minutes. Why do you make me stop @ 20 mins then 25 mins then again @ mile #2.21 & #2.71?

Look, there's nothing to be scared of. I'm pretty sure I can handle it. Besides, I always end up running it anyway. It would be nice to do it all in one shot is all I'm sayin'. Anyhoozle, being that we'll rumble w/this again tomorrow hows about you stop over thinking it so much and we just go for it?

I know Ms. Thang is holding out for Now she's going for a free laptop [6/17 update: I got the iPod] [1/31/06 upddate: I got the shuffle!] b/c we are all aware of it's secret powers of strength that turns ordinary couch potatoes into athletes just by merely listening to it (I only need 4 3 more completed sign ups). But maybe just maybe it's time to break out the clunky CD player (boooo hissss!) & burn us a CD (have mercy) like the olden days so we can get this thing done already.

I got this. Trust me,

Smooches!
The Legs.

PS CD or no CD you ARE running 3 miles tomorrow. DAMMIT!

*hugz*

Good lord. If these pictures don't make anyone run to suckle the teat of the nearest cow...though I guess taking a walk down the dairy aisle will also suffice...I don't know what it would take to stress the importance of bone density. I admit my lack of regularity has always been cool w/me but now I'm not so sure. Gotta do some research today.

On the plus side, I don't drink soda more than once a month, it leeches calcium from the bones. Despite that factoid always being in the back of my mind, seeing those pictures and making the connection makes me want to swear of those bubbly things forever!

I've also been weight lifting & eating lots of calcium rich food during the week: 1-2 glasses of milk, yogurt, cottage cheese, slice cheese, spinach & broccoli. I don't think I need calcium supplements @ this point. Besides I prefer taking a pill as a last resort or in a pinch, especially since it's easy enough to find foods w/calcium.

More reading: Care about your calcium. Of particular interest to me is this part:

Couch-potatoism, or lack of exercise, may contribute as much, or more, to osteoporosis than lack of calcium. Weight-bearing exercise (just about any exercise except swimming or cycling) not only builds muscle, it builds bone.

"You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - Christopher Robin to Pooh

Day 88

Hussman.org is always a good read. Everytime I read it, I find another golden nugget. This article in particular especially goes out, to well, Me. B/c truth be told it's something I needed to hear today. My commentary will appear as [red].

I finally have a balanced plan I can eat. Why do I feel like I say that each week? Seriously I do. See up till the week of the cheap eats experiment, I was doing pretty good, just performing minor tweaks here and there.

Cheap eats made me swing the pendulum to the extreme refined carbohydrates side and the following week it swung back to the extreme protein side. I'm back to my happy medium.

Yesterday was the first day I worked out since Wednesday. It felt like a lifetime. Which is so weird b/c when I finally got around to updating my training journal and fitday stats, I worked out 4 outta 7 days. And a pretty vigorous 4 days if I do say so myself. Yet that irrational fear was there on Thursday. The fear that one day would be the string of thread that?ll undo a sweater. And I was trying to figure out why. Despite being @ this for over 2 months, I'm battling w/years of doing nothing. In that context, laziness wins hands down.

To post about @ some point this week: Armageddon, GI Jane, 456, hormonal eats, alt workouts, slow loss focus, supplements, no sweat, up late, not again aunt, sleep headache, cheap frozen, this weeks eats, Zeta/Moore vs. Swank/Garner/Biel.

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow'." - Anonymous

Day 87

A new spin on the defunct weekly poll, introducing a weekly open discussion category, What Say You? I'm nosy & like learning new things. I want to know the thoughts of others tackling various weight, health, diet related issues. You don't need a blog to reply and I'll try to keep it non-controversial. If any issue makes you want to remain anonymous...make up a fake email...I don't mind. Consider this category an open chat. A place to share tips, tricks, voice your opinion or ways you've coped w/something amongst similar folks. A meeting place or sorts. A getting to know you kinda spot. A blog version of Starbucks even! Too far? Thought so.

I'll keep the topics pinned @ the top for about a week, but if no one bites, I'll post something else. If it's jumping I'll keep it posted longer. Fair warning, I'm an only child and can entertain myself for hours on end. If no one replies, I'll be forced to answer the questions myself. And then reply to myself. Please don't make me look that desperate M'kay?

This weeks topic: You have one choice: A Personal Trainer OR a Personal Chef. Which do you pick & why?

"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them." - Ann Landers

Day 86

"It isn't hard to be good from time to time? What's tough is being good every day." - Willie Mays

Day 85

No featured foods today. Being curled up in the bed w/the comforter over my head the last two days has left me w/no time to look anything up. In it's place here's something I've been working on for a few weeks now.

I've seen some incarnation of this around the blogosphere. Since I can't remember who had it or what the rules are I'm doing it my way. It started w/10 but then I thought of 3 more things and if you've read me long enough you know I have a thing where my numbers must end in 0 or 5. I came up w/2 more.

The following 15 things are true stories and I'm fairly certain are odd enough no one else has gone thru it. And if you did, you have my deepest sympathies...

+1.5

174

Am I freaking out? Nah. Actually, I'm freakishly calm. What's my secret? Logical Renee has successfully beaten Emotional Renee back into submission so I'm all like Meh. Besides, in every life a little rain gain must fall happen.

Rise of the Hormones™ started this week and I can't feel anyway till it's over. I'm not a regular chick and wasn't in the habit of weighing myself to see what trends my body goes thru, if any, during this blessed event. Next Friday, when the Rise of the Hormones™ has ended, I'll have a better idea of where I truly stand.

And I'll share another secret my body told me this AM: My body fat % stayed the same or is possibly a few 10ths of a percent lower. I don't remember the exact numbers after the decimal point, but the number before it is the same as last week.

I doubt it's muscle gain. If anything, these 3 things contributed in some form to the "gain": not drinking much water the last few days, about 50oz, eating out for lunch on Wednesday, and having the large fries and a Hershey Sundae Pie yesterday evening.

What? Emotional Renee snuck out for a few hours. I can't control that girl 24/7 ya kno.

But nah, no freak outs here. Nosireebob.

Not even when I listened to the radio this morning and heard that Metabo-sumthin-sumthin commercial where Marcy, (I'm like so shure it's not my Marci) giddily giggled, ?I lost 56 lbs in 29 weeks!?

Hey Marcy, come here a sec, I need to talk to ya. Step a little closer. Good. Now turn your head to the left. Perfect. I want your right cheek to meet my open palm.

*SLAP*

And you over there. The creators of Metabo-sumthin-sumthin...

*BACKSLAP*

See, I'm really really okay today.

It's pretty rough to muster enough gumption to get up AND workout when body doubling over pain, like some kind of masochistic internal alarm clock, wakes one up every 2 hours thruout the nite. Every. 2. Hours.

"Today is a new day, you will get out of it just what you put into it." - Mary Pickford

Day 84

Hi,

Being that today was the first time I opted to not have open comments on two entries, I'm going to ask a favor. If something in a closed comment entry moves you to contact me, either email me directly or use the contact form. Both can be found on the home page under the Contact » drop down text.

Please please please do not use another entry to reply. As much as I hate doing it, I will remove the comment. Not to be mean or get all ego-trippy. More times than not it'll be b/c what I wrote was extremely personal and I'm slighty embarassed and don't really want it "discussed". And b/c I feel vulnerable putting it out there, if you do email me, I may not write back or say anything more than thanks. But know in advance I appreciate the time you took to reach out.

The main reasons I don't want open comments on those entries is, (I doubt I'll have many of them, though as per usual I reserve the right to change my mind) I don't want to have private entries, or to feel constrained from writing what I feel @ the moment nor do I want to remove comments.

You all are a hoot. I'm really digging the banter and am working behind the scenes on a tool that'll encourage it. (It may even get started by the end of this weekend!) That way us loser type folks can come together and form a support network. So don't feel the closed or removed comments are a sign of dissatisfaction on my end, but if & when you encounter them, I thank you in advance for respecting my wishes.

[continuing the story]

When I was my last college I finally settled on a major doing what I loved, Web Design. @ that time dot com was big so most people were there to get their degree on and haul ass to make the mucho bucks. Not me. I loved the coding, the projects, the internet. I spent the entire day @ school and went up on one, sometimes both weekend days.

I loved the computer so much I'd be on it all day in school, go to work @ my part time job designing sites, then come home and unwind on my computer. As the quarters progressed and we got separated from the graphic design people who were on a diff't track, inevitably I'd encounter a bunch of people in my pgm that hated the school. Usually the same pack, different class. I tried to stay away from them. I was cordial but I didn't "hang".

Last nite I watched Top Model. Now it's so fancy schmancy w/it's rap intro and Cali locale. I haven't watched that show since Season 2 (the year of Camille). No real reason, actually yea there's a reason or two. I got sick of reality TV after Survivor All Stars and The First Apprentice (the year of Omarosa).

Being w/o cable and the fact that I removed ABC, CBS & NBC from my remote (long story) and I'll always be a stone cold addict for Seinfeld and The Simpsons (& I Love Lucy) I only *really* watch TBS and the WB [small voice] and PBS I like Arthur[/end small voice]. Though, once in a blue moon I'll channel hop, all 8 of 'em mind you. So it was on Monday night when I caught the preview of Tyra screaming @ someone, I kept reminding myself to venture up the dial to UPN69 this week.

*Groaaaaaaaaaaaaan*

Pass the cheeze cuz here comes the whine.

[This got cut in ½, I'll repost this later when I get home.]

Update 4/15: Well when I got home, I forgot that I needed this, refreshed the browser & ended up losing the original post. It just wasn't meant to be.

"Do you remember the things you were worrying about a year ago? Didn't you waste a lot of fruitless energy on account of most of them? Didn't most of them turn out all right after all?" - Dale Carnegie

Day 83

REPOST
[*whew* I don't know what on earth caused that glitch. ::furrows brow:: @ some point on Monday the full article was available. Thank goodness I had my site up @ home where the full entry still showing. A quick copy & paste and voila. Once again, enjoy, especially Fran ]

Blame Sunday afternoons nap for the delay in updating that middle picture. :: This evening fer shure. But as originally promised, then repromised on Friday, here's that pretty good 2 part article talking about fat loss. I'll add my commentary which will appear as [red].

So logic is returning, but last night I thought of 2 more things that had an impact on me last week:

1 - For the last 3 weeks of the 10 weeks of training, I focused solely on what I was doing. Post challenge I had a bit of a mental let down b/c I wasn't actively working @ something, which led to me feeling an overall sense of malaise.

2 - I don't look @ the pudge pics. I take the picture, download it crop it and post it to the site, but all the while I'm not examining them. When comparison & vote week came around, I found myself getting caught up in how I look which dredged up the body image issues and gave way to the emotional side raring it's head.

I've never dealt with these things head on before, on my old blog or even privately. This go round, I'm finding it's more productive for me to get these things out and give it a voice vs. pretending I don't feel it or using something (food) to stifle it. I can't say I'll never feel it again, especially b/c I know better, it may flare up the next time I take comparison shots or it could flare up tomorrow. It's not always black and white. But I'm grateful to have not only a space to sort it out, but readers who for the most part can relate.

Now that I'm somewhat resolving those issues, and realize they'll always be there, scale weight vs. body fat, body distortions and on and on, my most pressing issue, where I really really need some feedback is?

Thanx for the offer Christie, but today I didn't mind Full House restarting. It's actually quite interesting to learn that back in the day DJ used to be a little hellion and Uncle Jesse dated strippers.

"In my life, I've learned that at precisely those times when life seems to get worse that you may actually be getting ready to make a leap. When you feel like you're getting nowhere - stagnating, even slipping backward - what you're actually doing is backing up to get a running start." - Dan Milman

Day 82

Don't know why I feel this way but having that incomplete entry from yesterday makes me feel like I've been walking around, ass exposed w/my skirt stuck in my pantyhose.

Anyhoo, been feeling blah since Friday and trying to figure out why. I look @ the pictures, I read the wonderfully touching feedback and don't get me wrong while I'm immensely pleased, I'm thinking maybe I should feel like WAHOO! But I don't. I'm actually more WAHOO! @ others excitement than feeling WAHOO! for me.

Part of me, the mean part, thinks, "The hell you got to WAHOO! about? You're still very overweight."

She's very mean that part.

The lbs lost seems like a pittance. [small voice]I've read so many other people dropping 15, 20, 30lbs in that same time frame. Some not even working out![/end small voice]

Despite logically knowing how I look is more impressive when compared to my day 1 pic, I still can't quite help it ya kno? I'm still so painfully aware of the gut overlapping my pants, and the jiggles when I run down the stairs and the this and the that...

The Fat Loss article from yesterday got screwed! Sorry about that. Thanks Fran for the FYI. I'll have to see if I saved a copy @ home...sigh...that's where the links were. In the meantime, I'm gonna take it down.

I broke Full House.

After 11½ weeks of being a faithful watcher, on weekends too, the series restarted this morning. Had I known yesterday's episode, where Michelle lost her memory, was the finale I would have hung around to see how it ended. What on earth am I gonna watch now?

"Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself." - St. Francis de Sales

Day 81

Yesterday I had the bright idea to take a nap in the late afternoon which ended up w/me fighting not to keep sleeping past 4pm. Later on I chatted w/my Aunt and rushed her off the phone saying I had to go to bed in 20 mins. She asked what time was it, I said 8:40 and she told me I was such a baby. I ended up farting around online ½ hour past my "bedtime" to spite her and then tossing and turning due to not being sleepy and the apt being very warm. That nap and trying to spite her so wasn't worth it.

"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." - Carl Rogers

Day 80

And now the moment you?ve been waiting an entire week for. Comment moderation has been turned off. You can once again comment w/reckless abandon and immediate gratification. Enjoy!

What was that?

You were waiting for something else? A vote you say?

::blink blink::

Ohhhhh...that vote...why didn't ya say so?

The results are in fact in and I'm in just as much suspense as you. I didn't read any of those comments b/c I wanted to be surprised too!! (I'm a nerd) Ok enough stalling, w/a majority vote of 30 to 6 the winning view is...

It's weird some mornings I'm in the gym and not a soul passes by. Other mornings it's like Grand Central Station. @ first I thought someone's prolly having a party, but it's diff't type of people coming and going in diff't directions. All w/one thing in common: gawking @ me. Sheesh.

"Do, or do not. There is no try." - Yoda

Day 79

Food wise:
It was a bust this week. No other way to describe it. Not gonna sugarcoat it. For the record I was always starving and cranky.

I just came back from grocery shopping and for about 37 bucks, would have been 31 but I added some salmon @ the last minute, I got much better food for next week. I plugged a sample menu in fitday. I'm @ 1605 calories (could be 1710 if I eat a full serving of peanut butter) and my ratios (carb/fat/protein) are @ 41/39/20.

There is one downfall, to be expected no?, zero fruits. *sigh* Try as I might, as far as my ratios went, they didn't fit. But I'll look on the brighter side, as always, it's only recently I've been on fruit kick. They?ll come back soon and @ least I'm getting veggies.

39% of my nutrients coming from protein means I'm eating aprox 151gms. And w/o really trying I managed to get my carb gms to come in around 185, including fiber.

Saving the best news for last: I'm back to eating every 2? - 3 hours, Lean Cuisine is back and I could splurge a little, nutrient wise, and get the classic meals (those are the ones I like the most), and most importantly, Fiber one makes a comeback. Lord do I need it. *ahem*. My fiber grams are now in the high 20's.

I thought I was waking up to Monday. I was really grouchy b/c I had some things to do over the weekend for the upcoming week and thought I was screwed. Geez did I sleep that deeply?

"My life tomorrow will be the result of my attitudes and the choices I make today."

"I can do this...I know I can. It's just going to take time & patience."

"Rather than aiming for being perfect, just aim to be little bit better today than you were yesterday."

Unknown Authors

Day 78

Hiya to the people dropping by via (I was blog of the day today!) you're here just in time to vote.

In case you're wondering what is the deal w/all red 'kini pictures, this post guides you thru what's what on my site.

Enjoy your stay, and y'all come back now.

To everyone else, that article I said I'd post today, I'm too beat. I just got thru doing a weights & stretching workout that I really didn't wanna do. I grumbled my way thru the entire 47 minutes and am gonna go sulk for a while.

I'll post it on Monday. I mean it.

Availabilty
Most of the broccoli sold in the U.S. is grown in California, and it has become one of the few vegetables that are available year-round. It is most abundant though from October through May.

How to Select & Store:
Broccoli should have a fresh smell, a bright green color, and firm, tender stalks. Avoid broccoli with yellowing leaves or flower buds, limp stalks or wilting heads, a pungent odor, or stalks that are thick and woody.

Store broccoli unwashed in a perforated plastic bag in the vegetable crisper. It should be used within a few days of purchase.

I knew officially implementing this category would bite me in the tukkus one morning.

0

How do you spell relief?

M-A...I-N...T-A...I-N

Every night this week I've had these really vivid dreams that I don't want to wake up and all w/in ½ hour before the alarm goes off.

My dreams have the added drama of the second the crucial point is going to happen, someone is telling me something, the person pointing the gun is making a key move or I'm doing something critical, the millisecond before it's resolved the alarm goes off.

I can't tell you how many times someone was in mid sentence, as I was hanging onto their words, when they opened their mouth, I hear "Beep, beep, beep"

"A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle." - Erin Majors

Day 77

Ya know how two days ago, well all week really, I've been in cravings hell? I got this in my email today from the lovely folks over @ beachbody.com (red text is my emphasis):

Food cravings happen commonly when you don't eat for long periods of time and usually signal that you need to add something to your diet. They can be especially bothersome at the onset of an exercise program or any time you restrict your diet. Most commonly, they signal a blood sugar crash but other things can trigger them. Meat cravings may mean excessive muscle breakdown, veggies a vitamin deficiency. Ice cream, or any fat, might signal a fat deficiency. A quick way to calm cravings is to eat a good form of the type of food you are craving. If it's a true craving, it will subside with the right foods even if it's something you don't like. For example, a teaspoon of flaxseed oil might appease your ice cream craving if you haven't been getting enough essential fat. A protein shake will have ! the same effect as a Big Mac. An apple might just work for the piece of chocolate you were dying for. Your cravings should be indulged; you just should do it wisely.

I didn't realize other things could sooth the craving. Remember how I was scarffing down bread & cheese? Up to that point I was salivating @ all the fast food commercials. The salty fries & large coke urge was strong and for real.

After I ate the bread and cheese, I saw other commercials, even one for my favorite buffalo chicken pizza and was like, Feh. So I guess I inadvertently did what he suggested. Soothed my cravings with something else. Who knew?

Oh & to piggyback on what I chatted about earlier, I found a GREAT article that explains losing body fat, gives tips and overall has some pretty sound advice. And naw I'm not just saying that b/c it tells me I'm just about doing all the things it suggests......I have a lot of room for improvement, especially in the food area. But I'll post it tomorrow.

I'm not sure what's up w/me and these two part posts. Watching too much "To be continued" sitcoms I s'pose.

A few weeks back I explained my eating regime, here's my logic behind my workout regime:

In addition to the standard [Entry Disclaimer: Keep in mind there is no MD, RN, PHD behind my name so my routine isn't meant to be duplicated before doing your own research & checking w/your doctor or healthcare provider], I should also point out I lose weight extremely slowly.

So while my own regime may spite me by blessing someone else w/a bigger weekly loss, bear in mind it is very intense. However, since my focus is to improve my fitness, stamina, endurance, & muscles while losing body fat, losing slowing pisses me off to no extent, is really fine by me.

Ahhhh almost forgot only one thing today. Sure it took 24 hours for my day to improve, but @ least it did.

"If you have made mistakes, even serious mistakes, you may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down." - Mary Pickford

Day 76

So this being tweak week, for my own future reference I'm noting what's working & not working. Yesterday I chatted about my workouts thus far. Today is the food.

To bring everyone up to date, here's a brief recap. The last 10? weeks, I've concentrated on working out, making it my thing. I play around w/food but nothing too strict. As I can't I'm unable cook right now (& won't be able till after June) I figure I'll get drill sergeant on my ass in July. Each week I tinker w/my meals combining what I know I'll eat w/what I should eat. I've been grooving & losing w/it and life was good. My calories were in the 1600-1800 range & my breakdown was roughly 55-25-25 (carb/protein/fat).

Last week after getting hit w/2 unexpected expenses, my food budget was shot. I had to eat on ? the money I normally spent and was stressed the fug out. I made a ? assed attempt @ shopping w/my new constraints on Saturday. I thought I did pretty good, I mean I got enough food for the week, sure some of it was more carby than usual, but hey, it was a sacrifice.

So here's what been physically happening to me the last two days. I've been FREAKING starving. And it's not b/c of the 100 calorie drop. Earlier in the year I was eating that amount and felt fine. It's the nutritional breakdown stupid. Stupid being me, not you of course. I'll never call you stupid.

It's gonna be one of those days. I've been spinning in circles all morning. Almost forgot my notes, jump rope, ♥ rate monitor watch & the icing on the cake? When I woke up my site was down, & still down when I got back from the gym. :furious:

"Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better." - Sydney J. Harris