How beat am I?

I'm soooooooo beat, I lost the original entry *fumes* this is a redo:

Anyhoo, what I tried to say was, I am just about moved, thanks for the well wishes last week . I loaded up and took the biggset stuff and am only left w/the tv, computer, dvd, clothes and books, and things to throw out when I vacate. I'm over being depressed, actually I woke up w/an achy tummy and tears welling up in my eyes, but by noon I was so over taking things out to the truck I wanted it to be done w/already.

Speaking of truck, leave it to me to get the demon truck from HELL! The damn thing shook and shimmied going over 65, I smelled burnt tires, I had to start stomping on the brakes 1 mile back in order to stop on time, the seat was so far back I had to grip the steering wheel, my palms and fingers are still beet red and throbbing and I had to stretch out my legs way out just to reach the gas pedal...the stupid seat was NOT adjustable...*sigh*...and to top it off...2 mins from the uhaul drop off...it DIED! in the middle of the road, as I was going up a hill...it started to roll backwards!!!

Lucky for me, earlier in the day, as I loaded it up, another truck was moving out too and one of the guys...seeing me in my absolute WORSE! sweating, sticky and prolly a tad ripe...asked for my number

I swear it was the skin tight yoga pants I was rocking and he called already to see if I was okay w/all those heavy boxes...men...I'll never figure those creatures out. Days I think I look ok, I get nothing...days I feel I look like a scab, I get flirting and requests for my number.

Programming note: I'll blog from time to time thru this weekend. Starting Sunday, the pudge pics and podcasts are going on hiatus for 2 weeks, I want to move the computer this weekend and will be offline till my mother ends her visit somewhere around June 18th. I'll still be able to post my jibber jabber from *other* computers, but won't be able to upload anything till I get back online.

Other than that, I'm tired, my lower back aches, the soles of my feet are barking @ me and it's almost 8pm and I haven't eaten anything all day. I did drink tons of Arizona ice tea though.

Man, I'm gonna sleep like a log tonight. Be back this weekend.

The final nails are being put in place...I changed my USPS address, changed my O magazine address *sob*, changed my NetFlix address AND I rented a moving truck....!

(FYI, as I'm packing up this weekend, I'm still not sure when I'll transfer phone service. My mom may come visit mid June and insists she has to bring her laptop or she'll wither up and fly away *sigh*, so I may leave the phone on for her, meaning I won't have access to upload podcasts or pudge pics. Posting will be hit or miss for the next week and something tells me next weekend I'll be crashing and burning.)

I'm so torn about moving. I love love love my apartment and living downtown...I get a kick out of telling people I live a few blocks from Underground Atlanta, and I'm so close to historical sites like The King Center and Grant Park and there is so much revitalization going on, new condos, lofts and houses going up 24/7. Yet…

I can't afford it, or I barely can, and I'm tired of scrimping to get by and what's the fun in having all those nearby activities when I can't afford to do anything but drive by them.

I also love my commute, for the most part going against traffic and most trips are no more than 30 mins away, and then there is my free gym, though factor in rent and it ain't such a bargain, still…

I have fallen into a comfortable rut, it's a lonely life, and moving will shake me up a bit. I'll have access to all things suburbia, though I'm an urban girl @ heart, and it's not forever. It'll be a good break to catch up and pay off some bills, I'll be able to cook, I'll have a cool gym to visit w/all sorts of things I've only read about on blogs, like recumbent bikes and elliptical machines. I'll be near a park that won't scare me to visit it alone and I'll be w/my family.

I've been detaching myself from my place over the last few weeks, to make it not like home. So many boxes are all over the place, I feel like I'm just biding my time. The plan was to move piece by piece throughout June so I wouldn't have to shell out $$ for a truck, but b/c I need stability, I'm just packing everything up this weekend and loading the truck up Tues - Wed.

It's not forever, had to say that again, but it's not. I hope my mom will be able to move down here in the next 6 months and I'm steering her to live intown. But I will miss my apartment terribly and the rooftop views of the Atlanta skyline, but won't miss the car alarms, loud music, cell phone talking @ 1AM, door slamming across the hall @ 2AM & next door loud music and TV playing @ all hours, racing to beat people to the gym for the sole treadmill, random pieces of trash littering the hall way, dogs when dogs aren't allowed, super hot evenings since I face the west or shelling out so much loot in rent each month.

Now I look forward to relative peace and quiet, birds chirping, a backyard, bike paths, a cul de sac to run around, a kitchen to cook, an aunt to show me how to buy ripe veggies, a place to start a garden, a 7 year old to drag along to Stone Mountain Park, a real gym w/a trainer to show me the circuit machines, learning the ins and outs of a new city, being close to nature trails for some hiking (what? black girls hike ), and not feeling so lonely that I use food to pass the time.

This was my first real apartment, but as another chapter in my life ends, it's time to move on.

Something I've always wanted to clarify about what I said a few months back.

You know, if 50lbs from now someone comes up to me, even the uncouth maintenance man, and comments that I look great, I think my response would be along the lines of, "Thanks, I truly felt awful before and I'm pretty sure it showed."

I hope I didn't imply that being overweight automatically means one is a slob. I was more talking about the subtle difference that shows through. Take me for instance.

Oh Madison Avenue...how I fantasize about the day I can wail on you w/my fists of fury.

Victim #1 – Citibank...your latest commercials lashing out @ the amount of time people have to wait on hold for a live customers service rep is spot on. You got it so right w/the guy on the cell phone. I was @ his "Big Boy" password, wrong on so many levels and his exasperated "I dunno" never fails to tickle me...but...and you know there is a but coming...

Still battling it out for my business...

Battle of the Lasagna Florentine/Lasagna w/Meat Sauce   Weight Watchers Smart Ones® Lean Cuisine® Winner Packaging LC Calories 290 320 WW Total Fat 9g 7g LC Saturated Fat 5g 3g LC Cholesterol 30mg 30mg tie Sodium 580mg 690mg WW Potassium not stated 610g n/a Carbohydrates 35g 44g WW Fiber 4g 4g tie Sugars 10g 8g LC Protein 15g 19g LC Vitamin A 25% 6% WW Vitamin C 4% 4% tie Calcium 30% 25% WW Iron 10% 8% WW Price: $2.19 $2.79 WW

"If we wait for the moment when everything is ready, we shall never begin." – Ivan Turgenev

Am I the only one that has a hella hard time successfully unpeeling a wedge of Laughing Cow Cheese?

Blimey.

Availabilty
Raisins are available year-round in most food markets. They are often sold in small, single-serving-size boxes, but are also available loose in bins in some natural food stores.

How to Select & Store:
If possible, purchase raisins that are sold in bulk or in transparent containers so that you can judge their quality, checking to see that they are moist and undamaged. When buying raisins in a sealed, opaque container, make sure that the container is tightly sealed and that they are produced or packaged by a reputable company.

Storing raisins in the refrigerator in an airtight container will extend their freshness and prevent them from becoming dried out. If you purchase raisins in single serving boxes and do not want to transfer them to another container, store the boxes in the refrigerator to extend their shelf life. Raisins stored in this manner can be kept for about one year.

A few months back I made a public pledge to be 175 by June 30th. Not having a crystal ball to see how insane May was going to be, I'm a bit off track from that goal. A lot actually.

When I found myself crunching numbers to make it happen and muttering things like, "Well, if I workout 2 hours a day and eat 1200 a day, that should net me a 4lbs loss and 4lbs x 4 weeks equal 16lbs" all while I am pulling out the hair on the side of my head and cackling like a hyena, I know there is a problem.

So.

The public pledge is still on, but I'll tweak it a bit. Rather than aim for the end of June, it's now July 30th. For one, the craziness will have settled way down, my routine will return and I can do this losing as safely as I intended.

So.

I haven't done much personal ass kicking as of late, but come June 1st, well June 4th to be exact, there'll be all sorts of ass kickin' goin' on this here blog.

But apparently the fatfigtherblogs.com site does.

Ever wanted to get a customized DVD in the mail that gives you two unique 40 mins personal training sessions? And! One cutting edge 30 min cardio session? AND!! Two resistance bands? AND!!! Helful hints and tools?

Yea me too.

So fatfighterblogs.com is giving away free trial membership to PUSH.tv to not 1, not 2, but 3 lucky peeps!

Don't hold me to it, but if I remember correctly it's for 3 months which means 3 custom DVDs @ your door. Don't walk, run to enter.

Oh and a BIG THANKS to the ever so persistent Nick, for making this possible to my readers

"Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even." – Muhammad Ali

The ongoing food battle to earn my repeat business rages on:

Battle of the Ravioli Florentine/Cheese Ravioli   Weight Watchers Smart Ones® Lean Cuisine® Winner Packaging WW Calories 250 250 tie Total Fat 5g 6g WW Saturated Fat 2g 3.5g WW Cholesterol 30mg 40mg WW Sodium 720mg 600mg LC Potassium not stated 560g n/a Carbohydrates 40g 36g LC Fiber 4g 3g WW Sugars 12g 10g LC Protein 11g 11g tie Vitamin A 11% 8% WW Vitamin C 15% 2% WW Calcium 15% 15% tie Iron 10% 8% WW Price: $2.19 $2.59 WW

I heard someone go down the hall, I missed the question, but I heard the reply, "Does an apple have fiber...hmmm...I don't kn...wait...there's a doctor, let's ask them."

It took every muscle in my being to resist the urge to pop out my seat, race down the hall and expose upon the benefits of the apple. I sat shaking my head thinking, Dude...you don't know apples are an excellent source of fiber? *harumph*

Then I heard the doctors, 3 of 'em, concurring that an apple has lots of fiber and is good for the intestinal tract and haven't they heard of the saying, "An apple a day..."

Sometimes I love being a smart ass know it all

Color me beat.

I'm not sure if I wrote ever wrote this, I know I said it on the podcast, but I'm deep in the process of moving. My lease ends June 30th and I'm trying to get out of here the end of May. It all happened very fast and it's why I've been a bit distracted around here and things have been updated much later than normal. So keep in mind the next 2 weeks will be touch and go as most evenings I'll be spending packing up my junk (took me 2 hours and 5 boxes, 1 bag o' trash and 1 bag o' clothes just for the front hall! )

And I'm may still go back to SC Memorial weekend which makes this my last full weekend here. Each night I plan to bust my but till it gets dark out. I'll try to knock out all my updates in the early AM b/c there are no guarantees I'll have a chance to get online once I get back home.

As for workouts, I can't follow my strict schedule right now. Whenever my life gets crazy, I rebel against strucure b/c I'm too distracted sorting other things out, but I will commit to 60 mins minimum every AM for the rest of May and it will be a combo of running/walking. All my journals will be updated again w/the barest of stats, not extreme details for now. Food will be cool, I can eat on schedule since all week I'll be home, it's when I take my stuff to my new space that my dinner and PM routine will be thrown out of whack. Luckily, that's another week or two off.

Oh and since the scale will be shuffled back and forth as I move things about, plus stats like that are the last thing I care to track right now, all weigh-ins are on hold till June 4th or 11th, and day 90 picture updates will now happen on day 150 6/6.

Ok, back to packing crap...laters...

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better." – Samuel Beckett

...final two days of my vacay stories w/pics and now w/youtube!

Sunday
Today we planned to go to the Pow-Wow downtown but it started gloomy and rained pretty steadily most of the day. I was in a panic. How was momma cat making it? I would feed her when it let up, but how dry was the shed? I swear I fed that cat 12 cans of cat food in a 24 hour window, I know it's spoiling her but it's only b/c she is, was, so frail when I first got there and they need extra calories while nursing.

Fortunately when she came to eat, she was dry. My mom thinks she dug a hole in the ground, which explains why I couldn't see the kitties. Also the shed doesn't leak and if anything, while the water runs down, it's soaked in the ground first, not like concrete where it'll run into her and she had that blanket barrier thingy. Plus, the cat will move the kitties if she thinks they are in danger.

So all day Sunday we played a game, every 3 hours or so I'd call out to her and she'd come racing for grub. I'd feed her, pet her up and let her relax a bit. Back in January, I noticed she was always very meticulous about her grooming, so the brief time away from the kids gave her a chance to groom herself and just relax...

...but I didn't want to keep her too long.

All during the game play, the sole dog on the left...

...I later find out his name is TJ, who I renamed The Jerk, barked and barked. @ first I thought it was me, though he didn't bark so much last time I was there, then I realized, it was the cat. She drove the dog nuts...

...when she'd head back to the shed, he'd race over and bark, then turn back and head towards where I was standing and whine @ me. As if he wanted me to do something. Oh I wanted to do something alright, but not what he had in mind.

*ahem*

My mom said it now made sense b/c he did the same thing to her last week. We think he could see the kitties from his viewpoint and he was digging a hole to come over to our side. Yikes!

So poor Kitty, as she would slink back to the shed...

...I could hear her growling. During one interaction I saw her hiss @ him before scampering under the shed.

As she's eating, he's barking up a storm. When she was thru, she'd coolly eye him...

...and gauge him against a tree ½ way between us and the shed. If he, in his tomfoolery, raced a smidge beyond that tree, she'd drop whatever she was doing and go protect her young. One time a bird landed a foot in front the shed. Kitty tore off like a light, not to snag the bird but protect her babes…awwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

The final day, Monday, continues below...

"Great minds have purposes, little minds have wishes." – Washington Irving

...continuing w/my vacay stories

Saturday
Movie day! Yay! As I waited outside, the 3 mutts to the right were barking up a storm. I saw someone in the car next door. It was the woman who lived there. She got out and yelled @ them to stop. I went over and told her it was okay, they just weren't used to me. I started making small talk but my real agenda was to find the kitty. I blurted out, "Where's the cat?" She looked sheepish and said, "Holed up under your moms house, I think she had her kittens."

All the thoughts left my head.

Kittens?

Brand new kittens under my house?!?!

Yes I know how old I am.

Shut it.

So I said REALLY????, which came out as a school girl squeal and she said yea, and I told her I was so worried and my mom thought she was pregnant but the cat I saw was so skinny and where it the other one? She said she got run over and my heart broke. She started to say something about a black cat but those goddamn mutts would not stop their barking and my mom came out so we just parted ways.

By this point, I couldn't even think str8, I wanted to bolt out of the car and find those kitties, I resisted. We went to the movies in a very posh area of town, I forget the name but they did it up and it looks like a cross between Las Vegas strip, California and oddly enough Disney World, which as much as it entertained me, also saddened me a bit.

The other book I read last weekend was Shape Your Self: My 6-Step Diet and Fitness Plan to Achieve the Best Shape of Your Life by Martina Navratilova. Short review: I LOVED this book.

Why?

It was practical, doable, healthful, enjoyable, readable, relatable, oh you get the point. All L's you can think of. Now I've never been much of a Navratilova fan. I've heard her name, but my only interest in tennis came from the Williams sisters, just like my brief interest in golf came from Tiger Woods, what can I say, I'm a sucker for media sensations. So I've heard Martina's name bandied about but had no clue about her tennis history and the records she broke.

"Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use." - Charles M. Schultz

...continuing w/my vacay stories and pics

Friday
Today we decided to head out a free outdoor art fair and tour downtown Columbia a bit. It was a great day, beautiful weather. We got there around noon and I have to say, while it was quaint, being a New Yorker really spoils you. In NYC when we say fair, by God we mean fair. Blocks and blocks of people crammed together selling everything under the sun. So…Columbia had 9 "tents" 1 for each item and well, that was it. We had to walk very slowly as to not finish the entire thing too fast and we already reserved 2 hours, 4 quarters, worth of coinage in the parking meter.

In mid April I was sent this and another book. Being w/o a computer for a few days last week was a good excuse to get them read already.

Today's review is The Shangri-La Diet by Seth Roberts.

Firstly an overview, the Shangri-La diet is a method of eating, more like not eating if you ask me, that netted it's author and a few others staggering weight loss. I wasn't sure if I could reveal the methods, that's what buying the book is all about, but even if they poked me in the eyeballs w/toothpicks to force me to repeat his methods, I seriously couldn't so here's the short version:

Drink Sugar Water
Or
Drink Extra Light Olive Oil
Or
Do both.

As for what I think of the book? Let's put it this way. If I read it, oh 5 years ago, as a weight loss newbie, I'd prolly give all 3 methods a shot, the only thing stopping me, is the knowledge I know have about the human body. Today I wouldn't do it.

Not to be harsh, but it reads too gimmicky. I was repeating some of his methods to my mother and @ one point she told me she ate a bunch of leeks and it was so bulky she wasn't hungry for 3 days, I smirked and told her write a book. Apparently anyone can and does. I mean, why not have the college students guide to losing weight? The ramen noodle diet? The Po' People from the Projects meal plan? Sheesh.

So that's my beef. There are TONS of ways to drop weight, quickly, it doesn't mean any of them are safe for the long term. And I won't call out this book for being unsafe, I'm no doctor, barely got my Associates degree, this dude is a PHD so take from that what you may, but I do know this, his writing about drinking sugar water and having no appetite for 2 days...

From page 27: "I ate about one meal every two days. I was never unpleasantly hungry."

...troubled me. His tip, and maybe it was snark, to eat supermarket samples, was, well, odd. And his claim that when he got down to 150lbs people thought was sick was enough for me.

"It isn't hard to be good from time to time. What's tough is being good every day." - Willie Mays

I had such a good time away, not so much for what I did but just like the last time when I went in Jan, I felt normal, relaxed, peaceful and happy. We didn't do much, it rained all day Sunday so we missed a Pow Wow. But we did go into Columbia and I got some pix I'll share later this week. Got some neat handmade soap and of course the kitty…oh the kitty…if you remember in January I was all about the kitties and now there is no plural. Sadly, the chubby one was ran over *sob* but even in that tragedy there was still things to celebrate, many things as a matter of fact, but first a daily recap of the getaway.

No gain from last Tuesday to this morning. Meaning the 4 days of wanton eating didn't dent my waist line. There was also no loss, so my bravado is short lived.

What I didn't do, was eat out of control, I actually didn't eat much, if I bought food, I ate ½ and saved the rest for later. There was no intentional exercise, you don't want to know what that woman did w/the treadmill, let's just say it's beyond coat hanger, venturing into the territory of bookshelf/storage cabinet.

So while I knew that my running/walking jaunts would be stunted, I did my very best to eat as moderately as I could when we did eat out. I didn't get much water either, the faucet water stinks and the fridge water needs a filter, but again, when we went out, I opted for water. To reach my goal of 175 by 6/30 I need to lose 15lbs in 7 weeks. No completely unrealistic, 2lbs per week, but given my body history, it's safe to say I have a lump in my throat.

I need to get the post vacay fog out of my head, tonight I'll do the fridge cleaning and stocking till Friday and Saturday it'll be ready for the meals I strategize last week.

Overall, I feel, I dunno. My mom asked if I gained weight since, I fibbed and said no it's cuz I'm wearing closer fitting clothes and whatnot. *groan*. I don't have the heart to see how much weight I did in fact pack on…Fin. Enough! Part of the getaway was to get beyond the self pitying I was starting to do.

Next week, my buddy group and I are embarking on a 3 week challenge. Want in?

"It's not what you are, but what you don't become that hurts." – Oscar Levant

Ahhhh...back @ home...gahhh I HATE driving for hours on end...and I'm missing the kitty already...I have the cutest stories and pics to share. I also read two books that were sent to me last month and were collecting dust so I'll also have reviews to share and since I've been gone...whOoOoO HoOOoO 41 peeps signed my frappr map (1 more than I hoped for!!). You all so rock

Back later...

This is Renee's auto posting system. She is not available to post @ this time. This is day 120, all those stats and pics and charts and graphs yada yada yada will be updated some time this week, Saturday @ the latest.

Also, there'll be no "Today I Weigh" post. Weekly weigh-ins shall resume next Sunday. For her sake, pray for a 2lber next week.

Thank you.

No, I'm not off to stalk any of my frappr peeps, though if you reside along the GA/SC border, I may swing by and snap a pic of your house Speaking of which, HOE-LEE CRAP!!. I asked, and you guys answered, last count before that post I had 22 peeps, today I'm up to 32 *squeals* can I reach 40 by the time I get back? I'll sign all maps when I return.

Oh and shurely there are other Central Europe and China peeps out there no? Poor Rachel and Tax are feeling lonely

I'm off to see the mother for a few days. It's her bday weekend and we are gonna hit up as many free outdoor festivals as we can. I should score tons of pics, I picked up a 256k SD memory card last weekend and now my trusty cam can hold 300+ pics. When it was kitty fest last Jan, the most I could hold was 22 in the internal memory. Sadly, I won't be taking my computer w/me this trip. I'm only gonna stay 4 days, now if I stayed 5, well yes, I'd need the computer to flee her clutches, but I think I'll be okay.

Besides, w/all the pills I must tote for to tide me over the next few days, there simply will not be enough room in Graycee. For my podcast subscribers, you'll get your fix the show was pre-recorded and will continue to get posted daily.

I sure hope to get some kitty purrs and snuggles and love while I'm there. She told me she saw my favorite one, the skinny one, recently. Must pick up a few cans of cat food for the trip.

Oh and one last thing before I go, today is a significant day. Were it not for her, there'd be no me. Happy Bday Mum.

Have a wonderful weekend and make sure you miss me, you know I'll miss you more

"Undoubtedly, we become what we envisage." - Claude Bristol

From Ottawa to Austin, coolio, I love how the little are justa poppin up.

I'm not sure where my worldwide audience stands, I seem to be stuck in the US/Canada/Ecuador (¿¿It stops @ Ecuador??) zone but I'm thinking people outside of it can sign up too. I'll look into making the map more inclusive.

In the meantime, c'mon. Sign away. Don't be shy. I'm making plans for my summer travels and need to plot my airline trips according to each city on the map.

This way I can stalk you all good and proper like. Feel free to pimp yo' map. If you too have a frappr acct, leave the URL, I'll sign it!

I've always resisted getting one of those key fobs on my key chain. I could've rocked a lot of them, Publix (7 site mentions), Bally (5 site mentions), Blockbuster (3 site mentions), Kroger (1 site mention), heck even Staples (not actually mentioned by name, but referred to implicitly), who I hit up for all my podcasting studio needs. But one weekend I succumbed and am now proud to display my foray into the world o' fob. It's my secret reason for going vita-crazy.

I am now going to petition Regal and AMC theaters to get on the ball and ditch the credit card sized rewards card I've been lugging around for the last few years. I've only racked up 300 points, per card. I think they'll listen to me.

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly." – Richard Bach

I just couldn't figure out why, on a daily basis, people would see me and all of a sudden a flood of sympathy would wash across their face. Till the day I was driving and a man in a uniform poked his head in my car and as we went thru our ritual, I saw his eyes glance on the passenger seat and @ the precise moment, the sympathy came. Me, being a bit of a dim bulb @ times, turned to see what on earth was he looking @ and then I spied it.

I talked this out yesterday, sorry if you don't listen to the podcasts, but as not to leave anyone out of the loop, I'm going to write out some of what I said.

One of the hardest things for me in the losing weight game is the mental part. Case in point, walking in today, I caught my full bod reflection in a glass door, I cringed. I'm getting so tired of looking like this.

Now last week I was looking @ the very same bod, yet I had no extremely negative feelings. Why the sourpuss today? That .4lbs is why. And that's the part I'm tired about, it's enough to make me want to stop.

"No one should shrink to fit the idea someone imposes on them. No one!" - Meg Ryan

"We can forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." - Plato