Two Sundays ago I was 198.6lbs, today I am 190.6.
And the fast rages on. Now this wasn't solely about weight loss, I mean I ain't gonna lie. I'm not gonna purposely pack on the lbs, and if they scale feels like going down in the process, I ain't gonna fight it either 
But it was more than that. I've had too many epiphanies to put into words. I'll likely make that this weeks video. But in about 8 hours from now, I will have officially went w/o solid food for 7 days.
How do I feel? How am I coping? Am I going crazy? Am I not hungry? Do I want to murder someone right about now? Lol
Fine
Ok
No
Sometimes
Um…yes
All in all it's been a wonderful experience. The biggest lesson I'm getting is willpower and control. I joked w/someone that when Callie's food started look appetizing, it'll be time to stop. Her food is still safe
I've been to the grocery multiple times and only got more supplies, water, lemons or kitty stuff. I've passed up cake 3 times. I have 2 upcoming events I wont be eating at. I went to the movies and didn't buy anything to eat during, nor afterward.
To date, my worse day was day 2, but every day I take it moment to moment. I learned that, those times I went to the supermarket ravenous and bought things I craved and stuffed myself till I was sick, was a lack of control on my part. I can go to the movies and not HAVE to eat anything. In my current life, I wont starve if I miss a meal or 2. Despite my tummies long held belief that if I don't eat RIGHT NOW I'll wither away and die.
I originally planned to carry on this adventure for 40, yes 40 days. That's how absolutely rotten I was feeling. But the light @ the end of this tunnel will be 10 days, Friday. The next time I fast I'll go for 15, then 20 and eventually work my way up to 40.
Post fast is as follows:
- 2 days of fresh squeezed OJ, by this point I'd have gone 12 days w/o solid foods, I expect the weight loss to continue
- 3rd day OJ for breakfast, and I'll spend the rest of the day eating fresh fruit and a plain salad, I expect the weight loss to slow down a bit
- 4th day I can resume eating. By this point thru the weekend, it's my last in town before I go away for the holidays, I'll continue to eat lots of fresh fruit and veggies, grains and nuts. I expect the weight loss to either stall or go up a bit till my physical activity picks up. By this point, my stomach a tad shrunken and my body used to not eating, I hope to go back to eating small meals and feeling full.
As for the fasting the last 7 days, the first few days, all I thought of was food and what I'd like to eat. Too much to name, most I don't even remember. I do recall having a STRONG craving for hot oatmeal made w/milk, steel cut oats, walnuts and flax seeds. I also wanted to go to the farmers market and get my fave ethnic foods, Hungarian lamb chili, spinach/artichoke bake and veggie lasagna. A week ago today, I couldn't type that many foods w/o crying a bit.
By yesterday, however, I found myself signing up for a vegetarian starter kit via PETA as well as scouting my neighborhood for vegetarian restaurants. I found a veggie buffet!! I even checked out eating raw foods and added this book, Raw Food Made Easy For 1 or 2 People
Now that's not to say I made a full conversion just yet. I think by next summer, when I move, again, and I am able to cook, again, I'll be more vegetarian than not and a little raw. That doesn't mean I'll never eat meat, nor am I not eating meat b/c of the "it has a face". Meh to that. This is for my health and all things in moderation.
The urge to go extremely healthy comes from fasting to a point where I realize how much of a sacrifice I'm making. How hard this really is and the last thing I want to do is sludge up my system w/gunk.
When I come back to town after the New Year, I'll resume my food delivery service and bulk it up a bit, I'll post more about that later.
I also realized yesterday, I'm worth spending more money on food for myself. For so long, I was about getting the most for my buck, which doesn't necessarily mean health. It was hard for me to start shopping @ the farmers market and the money I'd spend on fresh fruits, I could get so much more @ the vending machine, yes the vending machine, or an all you can eat buffet. While I did the food delivery, I grumbled @ how much it costs. At this moment in time not only is that cost totally okay w/me, I want to go even further. Do away w/the aspartame filled "low-fat yogurt" I was eating, and get something healthier, dare I say organic? And I mean real organic, not some effing corporate creation like Organic Rice Krispies WTF?!? #)(@#(# 
Having spewed that, I will not get all judgemental here about how anyone else is eating or what's in the marketplace and why I'm just so great. This zen like feeling will pass and I'll come down of my hobby horse. From here on out my will power will be continually tested and months will come where money is tight. As always, I'll adapt. Hopefully this time, it'll be for the better.
As for the weight, I can possibly be in the low 180's by early next week. Once food is consumed, it is expected to regain about ½ of what was lost during the fast. I'm not sweating that expectation. All in all the positives outweighed the negatives. I was also able to avoid the news, for the most part, as well as temper my obsession w/celeb gossip sites and get more things done around the place. TV watching was still the same, but, I already plan for that to take a dive when I come back to town after the New Year.
Wow, that was way more than I planned to type. I was actually just gonna post my weight and be audi. See how much time you have when you are no longer chewing Oh and when I say I didn't eat anything, not even my fingernails, and I'm a notorious finger nail biter. I caught myself nibbling and not sure if that nail would count as a meal and if it would crank up my digestive system, I promptly spit it out. My mother would be so proud.
If you have any questions @ all about my fasting experience to date, I'll be happy to answer them!
Comments: 6
12.12.06 | iportion commented: I do a monthly fast for religion but not for weight loss since I get crazey hungry after I get off the fast. 
12.12.06 | Yamfoot commented: Yes, I want to know what you 'drank' on this fast. How do you get your protein?
12.12.06 | angie commented: hey renee I have a girlfriend of mine that is on youtube who has started a fast she is into day 3. her name is fastingurl31. I believe she subscribed to your channel. if you need any more information on the subject of fast you should watch her latest video. She has alot of good information and shares her own experance. your doing great keep up the good work and sounds like you have a good plan for the next little while. can't wait to read more about your experience of fasting and to see your next video. as always love reading your journal. keep up the good work. all your hard work will pay off. Angie
12.12.06 | Cilla commented: Wow! Kudos!! I really want to try this...not for 7 days..I'll try from Friday-Sunday night.
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You're doing great! WOW! I can't wait to hear your thoughts as you get off of the fast.