Sometime in Nov/Dec I made an internal vow to do 30 mins of physical activity every single day in 2007. Back then I saw myself, in the future, waking up bright and early knocking out a 30, nay! 45 double nay!, 60 minute workout. Sweat dripping down my brow, heart pumping! I was gonna ring in the New Year right on track.
Except I didn't.
New Year's Eve, I stayed up till 2 AM working on some web stuff. I woke up at 9 AM. After a bit of dragging around, I hopped back on the web and proceeded to stay online w/a few breaks here and there to catch a TV show or 2, before heading back to the computer. Hour after hour passed, I kept saying, I'll do it soon. I'll go to the treadmill in the next hour. I mean it. For reals.
There was on show I really really wanted to see that started @ 9 PM. When the clocked neared 8:30, after promising myself I'd do a quick 30 mins at 7:30, which I didn't. Then I promised 8 on the dot so I could shower up and catch the show. I was STILL ONLINE.
@ one point I even bargained w/myself that I'd do it @ 11:30 getting it in @ the last possible moment. The evil part of me said, Hell, just pretend I did it and I'll really make it up tomorrow. I mean really, who'll ever know? Besides me who even cares?
@ 8:27 PM I said to hell w/it and just went into the treadmill room. If I couldn't even walk 20 steps to another room, how the hell do I expect to wake up every morning and drive myself 15 minutes to the gym and why do I deserve a $34.99/mo membership?!?!
I got on that treadmill less prepared to workout than I've ever been in my 5 year workout history.
No iPod to pass the time
No sports bra to hold the 40 (ugh!) C's in place
No socks
No sneakers!
No ♥ rate monitor
No pedometer
No working console on the treadmill to even tell me when I was done, how fast I was going or how many miles I even logged
No TV
No book
No magazine
No fancy cardio equipment
No distractions
Nothing
I literally rolled out of bed w/the clothes I'd been wearing all day, gray t shirt and gray shorts, and walked. Barefoot.
Finally, after what seemed like FOR-FREAKING-EVER, I spied a blinking clock behind me. Mercy.
Or Hell.
When I turned around to see how long I walked, a minute had passed.
I stared ahead, walked some more and looked again. Same dammed minute.
This was gonna get ugly.
I sighed deeply, resigned myself and walked. Earlier, I set the computer's alarm. Unsure if I'd hear it, figured I'd just cut this foolish barefoot experiment early. I had a show to watch.
I stared @ the wall…
…for a bit. Then I looked out into the black of night…
…and then I just thought.
Of nothing in particular and of everything.
@ 1 point, my mom peeked in and chuckled that I'm working out ONE day. She asked why'd I have the shades up, I said it was for me to look outside. She closed the door and left.
I glanced back @ the clock and 10 mins had passed. Cool. I walked on.
Thoughts of how much I hated 2006 flashed into my head. By far one of my worst years. I ended the year, exactly as the last 5, heavier than I started. I thought of all the excuses I made, all the time wasted.
Interestingly enough, I didn't beat myself up about any of it. It's all in the past now.
Looking @ the clock again, I hit the 15 min mark, though having already walked 3-5 minutes before I spied the clock, it was safe to say I was more than ½ way done. I walked on.
I thought of the second the clocked time passed from 11:59:59/2006 to 12:00:00/2007 and how much promise laid ahead. I love that second.
I felt the great burden of frustration, sadness, failure, depression, pain, sorrow lift from my shoulders.
I savor every first minute of every New Years Day. It always fills me w/hope.
Glancing back @ the clock, wow, 20+ minutes done. Walking @ the snails pace of the Warm Ip setting, ie turtle setting…
…I was actually breaking a sweat under my arms. Great Zeus I'm so out of shape. Again. I walked on.
I told myself, to hell w/the computer alarm. I'm going to walk the 30 minutes length of time from when I spied the clock. So what if I miss 3-5 minutes of a show that'll probably rerun 20 times in the next month. This was the moment I needed to be firm in my priorities.
I looked over the terribly basic treadmill and pictured myself 364 days from today, doing another 30 minutes to end the year, possibly @ the jack rabbit setting…
…or a different cardio machine altogether.
Suddenly, I heard an annoying beep coming from the other room. Though 5 minutes short according to the clock behind me, technically I was done. I quickly hopped off to turn off the alarm and for good measure did 2 more minutes to make up for the 2 brief breaks.
How many miles did I walk? I dunno.
How many minutes? Can't say for sure.
How many steps? *shrug*
For a person hellbent on taking every stat imaginable, not knowing is a HUGE deal.
I joined the show in progress, missing about 3 minutes.
As I sat down, my mother asked, "Is that the first time you used the treadmill since you've been here?"
Not wanting to feel foolish or silly for what I did, b/c only I know what I have in store for me, I said, "I dunno."
"You don't know?"
"Shhh, I'm watching the show."
That was that.
I'm not going to end this post lauding myself for the walk. No pats on the back. No pontificating about what it all means. No waxing poetic about supposed turning points or being back on track.
What I do know is, greater than any run, greater than any super early AM workout, greater than any personaly designed weight lifting, on New Year's Day 2007, my barefoot walk on an outdated treadmill is probably the best thing I've ever done for myself. Period.
Comments: 7
01.02.07 | Una commented: Renee, you killed it! Thank you for writing this. I've very often thought the same "I can make it up tomorrow". I'm keeping this post bookmarked, to serve as a reminder.
I am patting you on the back. Hope you don't mind 
01.02.07 | Brian commented: Just wanted to let you know that I am still here enjoying your posts and now seeing you on YouTube. I want to wish you a Happy New Year and thank you for sharing your journey with us. Brian
01.03.07 | alyndabear commented: Hey Renee,
Happy New Year - and congratulations on starting it off right. Your blog has been very inspirational to me, and the fact that you got on that treadmill? Is awesome.
-Aly
01.03.07 | Shelley commented: Hi Renee...congrats on sticking to your guns. It's easy to talk yourself out of it or say...oh, I will workout twice as hard tomorrow.
Gold stars all around!
01.05.07 | angie commented: That's great, Renee! Good for you. I especially love your answer to your mother. I wonder why our loved ones sometimes try to get us off track?
01.07.07 | Alex commented: One of my resolutions is I don't have a meal until I go outside and be active 
I can have fruit I can have water but the meal is the reward for taking care of my heart So what it boils down to is me getting in lots of water and many of my fruits earlier in the day then finally getting my butt outside for some activity and then often being to tired to eat that meal
We will show them some happyness this year
alex
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lol...you totally reminded me of how I act those first few minutes of my workout! You have worked out! lol, don't forget that. Thats half the battle in my opinion! Start your week off right, that way you can continue the pattern throughout the new year. I'm six lbs up from what I was before X-mas but I'm not letting it get me down! Keep your chin up girl! Just remember there are other people out there struggling just like you..we're all in this together!
