That's how I felt this morning and for the better part of the last 3 weeks. Life has been EXTREMELY hectic and the truth is, I am not happy right now. W/anything or w/anyone.
Not that I walk around w/a big ole grin on my face 24/7, but in the last week I'm painfully aware, that I am frowning, I just feel down. None of that has anything to do w/weight, just where I am (or am not) in my life right now.
*sigh*
But this morning I weighed in, first it said 198.8 then it said 199.2 and just like that *fingersnap* I'm pretty much back to where I was in May.
That's what I'm ready to quit on. I'm tired. Really tired and nearing the point where I just want to stop. I weigh 200lbs...big deal! I wear size 16/18 so what? I like working out, I'll continue to workout, food is and always has been a problem and it's not going to get better since I moved.
The kitchen is an empty shell and will stay like that for a few more months. I'm eating on the run and fell back into fast food 24/7 habit. I'm just so tired, emotionally tired, of fighting this.
It's hard, it's been painful, it's embarrasing, I feel like a stuck record or better yet, like I'm stuck on stupid. To many years and energy has gone into me losing weight and year after year, I get fatter and fatter. Why bother trying?
--more later--
