I never quite understood, or perhaps related, to people struggling to lose weight while going through fights and drama w/their significant other. I have no significant other but am going through my own drama and the truth is, right now it's very hard to care about myself when all my emotional energy is spent feeling very very bad.
And I'm taking it out own myself both by eating not to feel and eating to punish. I have zero energy to workout and just can't get my head in the game. Even the smallest task is a big challenge, remembering to take my water bottle.
And it's not just "real" life bearing down on me, I also have job related stress in the form of will I/won't I? So throw in looking for a job in the mix and you still don't know the ½ of it.
I'm just not sure what to do about anything. The me that's on auto pilot knows how to make a good plan and knows all the things I need to do. The me that's dealing w/this shit just wants to step away from everything and everybody. Disappear for a few days. Curl up in bed and pull the covers over my head and sleep for a bit.
And since I can do neither, I'm just there. Going thru the motions. I wish I could be stronger and snap back to attention, but I'm not. I wish people didn't hurt my feelings as easily and as deeply, but they do. I wish I could find the energy to push all this negativity in a corner and focus on the positive stuff, but for now I can't.
