One of the things I loved most about my early days of anonymous blogging was, I did a lot of introspection. Somewhere along the line, as more people came and even commented, I became a performer. Later I became an entertainer and ultimately, I lost my own voice.

When I return the first week in November, I am going back to introspective posting. The problem w/entertaining is, everything is a story or event and like a sitcom, needs a cast of characters and a "happy ending" that also caused my bouts of bloggers block, anxiety to top my last tall tale and worse when I had an a-ha moment and wrote it in a profound way, yet emotionally I was still grappling w/putting things into action, I felt I could never write about that issue again.

How could I? I sat here and wrote "deep" thoughts about it. I had people write me and thank me profusely for my words or pat me on the back. God I felt like such a fraud. So that style of writing is out. So are reviews and miscellaneous topics. I will still cover those thing, but I will now do it solely on the fatfighterblogs.com site.

Now that I got that all off my chest, the good news is, my things will be here soon and the 8 pieces of furniture I put together this weekend has me feeling a LOT more organized. When the bed comes, I will feel tons better.

As far as weight is concerned, something about reading back what I said really hit me. I did a lot of soul searching and realized I've been living in denial about things for a very long time. I also felt a huge need to issue a mea culpa on snarking about other people.

From the safe distance of my computer, it felt harmless, but it's not. Granted when people go on TeeVee or put themselves out there it comes w/the territory, but it's no excuse for me not to acknowledge the real person behind the personality and I will do my best to always keep that in mind going forward.

Back to weight, I have decided to do an extremely radical approach. Something I have never done before, something all experts on…

To say the last 3 months was tumultuous is an understatement. Every time I get ready to post about what' s going on, I either become extremely overwhelmed or another urgent situation pops up. Then b/c I haven't caught up on what's going on, it's hard to just post "as normal" A viscous catch-22, so what I'll do instead, to get it out of my head, is just sum up some of what I've done:

My sendee will be happy to know I have finalllllllllly gotten my procrastinating but around to sampling all the goodies in my Fitness SWAG! I taste tested so much one morning, I didn't even need to eat breakfast.

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After all that soy butter and candy, time to freshen the breath no? Which is the perfect seguew to dish about Vermints. I'm an Altoids kinda chick, when I get my mint on, I want the back of my throat to burn w/tingling freshness. But I was intrigued by the flavored and fancy Vermints. When I say flavored, I'm talking:

Chai, CinnaMint, WinterMint, Cafe Express, GingerMint, PepperMint

And by fancy I mean getta load of this:

So if you haven't figured out yet what makes these special...they are organic. Of all the listed benefits, the three that I am most interested in are "No chalky aftertaste, No high fructose corn syrup & No artificial sweeteners.

I seriously couldn't try all @ the same time, I think my tummy would revolt, so I picked a "normal" flavor, PepperMint and an exotic one, Chai.

I was sent a literal box of Fitness Swag, so the next few posts will be me catching up to doing the reviews.

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Have you been looking for a nutritious answer to your sweet cravings? Show of hands. I know I have. Well I got my sweet tooth wrapped around Goody2Chews. The premise is:

Goody2Chews fruit & nut snack are bite-sized squares made from fruits, almonds and whey protein and coated with creamy caramel, chocolatey and yogurt coatings.

I sampled the Chocolatey, Yogurt and Caramel.

I got sent the CUTEST soynut butter ever made by Simple Food. Cute b/c the packaging design is nicely drawn, but more than cute, tasty. I sampled their soynut butter in the Cinnamon Sugar and Slightly Sweet varieties. Note the sugary twist? I think that's what makes them so tasty to me. Unless I buy the honey version, I'm used my peanut butter having a slightly tangy taste.

I went to the gym, not once, not twice, but thrice in a row!! :o

When I went on Sunday, I felt like a kid who'd been put in the corner and was slinking back into good graces. I swore the desk clerk @ LAfitness was going to ream me a new one. Instead she smiled nicely and nodded me in. I figured it was b/c she was on the phone.

Yesterday, I sucked it up and went again. Fer shure today they'd bawl me out. I gingerly walked in, expecting ballons to drop from the ceiling or @ least some wailing sirens. Nothing.

Hmpph.

This week I got a box of Nature Valley® Roasted Peanut Crunch Bars & Nature Valley® Roasted Almond Crunch Bars. You know what the operative word in both these bars are? CRUNCH!

I made the mistake of thinking it was a box of cereal, so before I even opened the box, I poured milk into a bowl. Then I opened the box and saw that it was bars. Since I do not drink milk room temp, must be ice cold, I did what any normal person would do and crumbled the bars up into the milk. And ate them.

The last few weeks have been rough. Spirituall. Emotionally. Physically. Financially. Most people use January 1 to get a fresh start. I do but, but I also use my birthday, which'll be today. Don't believe me? Check out the list of birthdays in the bottom right column of the fatfighterblogs.com site. You'll see a bday smilie blowing a candle out in my honor.

See...told ya...the smilie never lies...anyhoo...