Did I forget to mention I'm taking a night class on Tues, Thurs & Sat? I think so. So yea, I'm taking this class, started early this month, ends Thanksgiving weekend. Which means...No Biggest Loser Updates From Me. Oh well. I know I can watch online, but w/a a dial up connection, it'll be January before I'm able to wrap up what went down on the first episode. On a brighter note, DSL is scheduled for completion sometime in December. Just in time for Season 5.

All that talk about being excited for The Biggest Loser to start and I promptly missed the show. I crashed @ 8pm and didn't wake up till the alarm went off this AM. I checked their site to see if they posted the episode online, doesn't look like it.

Oh well.

Looks like I'll have to scour reality tv blogs and forums to get a whiff of what happened.

Compared to last week, running was hard today. Mentally and physically. Mentally b/c I keep having the stupid word games going in my head how hard running is and physically b/c it's been a LOOOONG week for me offline. I can NOT believe it's only Thursday. Given the emotional rollercoaster I've been on since…Tuesday…it should be Saturday already.

So I bucked up and ran. This time to one of my fave drum and bass or is it trance or shall I call him house or techno…whatever…Mauro Picotto. He got me through some long nights @ the computer lab I tell ya.

Plus the beats are always good for a few seconds burst of energy as I try to focus on the music, and not so much the time. But other tricks get me through running.

::small voice::

I imagine I'm on The Biggest Loser.

!!!

Sadly NBC doesn't have their act together in time for me to get pics added to my recap. That'll learn them to quit doing 2 hour shows. If I'm feeling charitable, I'll come back and add pics when their site is updated. Till then, on with the show! [12/17 Update: Pictures have been added.]

The biggest loser finale is on and it's live, though portions are prerecorded. Ok.

StTWA appears and is so pretty in pink. She mentions tonight we'll finally learn the answer to who's not going to make the final weigh in, as we've been hearing about it all week. Hearing about it all week...really? I haven't heard a peep. Must fire my sources.

Now they show team grey aka The Homeys.

50 states united to lose...

...they keep calling The Homeys a nation...WTF? Are they insinuating the group of 50 weighs as much as 300 million nice dig NBC

The Homeys took rejection in stride, all hoping to come back to the ranch.

Geebus. Another damned recap. We did this last week Announcer guy...and believe you me, it's even less fun the 3rd go round.

@ yet another shot of the weigh in where Florida Wylie didn't lose weight. Looks like u got pwned Wylie!

I really don't like seeing them fat again.

Here are The Final Four stats when they left the ranch:

New York Erik 124lbs lost

Utah Heather 56 lbs lost

Florida Wylie 90lbs lost

Alaska Kai 77lbs lost

It's funny to see Kai when they show her week to week weigh ins. She goes from folding her arms across her belly to ending w/her hands on her hips.

Now they recap them @ home:

Heather is up 2lbs.

Kai is boozing it up w/her girls.

Temptation calls Erik in the form of crispy bacon. Oh it was Erik kickin' the scale. My bad, I called Heather.

Dammit Kai is on my screen again w/that fug cry.

The 4 finalists return for ONE LAST TIME! What was up w/last weeks ONE LAST TIME?

And now we hear the theme song for ONE LAST TIME.

As Renee recaps for ONE LAST TIME.

Ugh...it's gonna be a loooooooong nite.

Ok, let me officially say, I don't know if this is true or not, but am posting it since at this late date, I am getting a lot of search engine hits on one biggest loser in particular, Marty.

A month or so back a TeeVee forum I visit dropped a selacios
tidbit about Marty. I did my own searching and here's what I found:

Welcome back Biggest Loser! How I've missed you so. Has it really been two weeks? Don't ever leave me again *sniffle*

Now onto the show...

Last time, players found out the game had changed. It's now every fat cell for themselves. Old alliance fell apart. The men got catty and did each other in. Erik is the 3rd person in biggest loser history, all 3 seasons mind you, to lose 100lbs. Wylie doesn't get why he lost no weight after burning more than 3000 calories.

Looking back now, I should've guessed Erik was going to boot Marty. He didn't wear a blue shirt. He wore stripes. Very telling.

Hot dayum, Wylie looks great.

Cue theme song ::singing:: It's never too late to tryyyyyyyyyy. We need a change...Yea! Do it today. Yea! ::end singing::

The sun rises on the ranch. New girl Adrian is getting out of bed. Why the hell is she wearing a blue shirt?!!?? Foretelling much?

She lost 54lbs

Heather is pumping iron and while biking. I still hate u.

Erik is the last Team Blue standing, he dreads telling Trainer Bob the news that he sold his boy Marty out.

Here come Trainer Ken and Barbie, dammit I mean Kim and Bob. Heyyyyyyyyyyyy you are soooooo busted NBC. It used to be Angel Bob and Devil Jillian, now we have Trainer Ken and Barbie, Kim and Bob, K & B.

Trainer Kim still has 3 of her teammates. Bob, seeing solo Erik, says he's so mad he can't see str8. Methinks there will be a hellacious workout ahead.

Erik took that individual game seriously. Bob pulls Erik aside and asks him if he's nuts….

There is no Biggest Loser this week. Instead, allow me to share my take on this season to date. I chillax @ a TeeVee forum and in reply to this statement...

this is supposed to be an inspirational program ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS. I've watched every episode ... and I still have no idea

...this is what I had to say...

For the record, I am officially pissed tonight ep competes w/Mama's Family.

Since my last update, 2 Homeys have rejoined to show. Jealously @ the ranch prevails. Cutey Patootey Tenn Bob was sent packing last week, 7 states remain: Alaska, Utah, North Dakota, Arkansa, Florida, Missouri and Erik, I mean NY *snerk*

Can I just say wow @ Missouri Marty and Florida Wylie, they look amazing!

What have you done today to make you feel proud? No I'm not singing the theme song, I'm asking you. Yes you!

As of now, the game is an individual game. Buh-bye Heather and Kai. *squealz*

Poor North Dakota Adrian, she looks confused @ the quick turn of events. Two weeks ago she was roughin' it @ home. Last week she had a team, now she's flying solo.

Trainers come in. Trainer Bob notices Tenn Bob is gone. Damn he's observant. Good to see trainer Kim actually wearing red. The last few shows, I may not have updated here, but I did watch them, I noticed she was sporting other colors on her body and a red wristband. Wench.

Bob hugs it out w/the boys.

He says he's not joking w/the boy's in the gym today. Heyyy even's Bobs eyes are blue. Now he's on standing on Marty's back. Hey! That's a Trainer Jillian move. I think he want's her back as much as I do.

Trainer Kim is working the new people and NOT wearing red. Oh, her sneakers are red

They do jumping squats…

The stars are aligned, my DSL is up, the pics are up on time and thankyoulord it's only an hour show recap. Seriously NBC, save 2 hour shows for the intro and the extro. Anything more is overkill.

Let's get to the show:

They recap last weeks day @ the beach. Combined, both teams have lost 356lbs lost…or they lost an entire Ken...heh

They show 14 @ the ranch, 36 online…hey…can they count me as one of the online contestants? Heck, why not count all us weight loss bloggers as online contestants?

Show starts, Trainer Bob is jetting up the steps. He sees Texas Tiffany is gone, that Bob is so observant. Tonight his mul-hawk looks a bit better, not as scruffy.

Alabama Melinda feels she must step it up, ie lose more weight or her ass is outta there.

Dammit, perky Trainer Kim is on the premises. Red Team is going play a game...rut-oh.

She's talking to them about buffets, while Bob takes his gang (wouldn't that make Blue Team the Crips and Kim's the Bloods?) outside.

Both teams are going on a cruise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *yawn*

Red team slides down the hill in joy. They look united.

Bob croons the theme song to the love boat. Shut your mul-hawk Bob.

He wants to show them going on a vacay doesn't = a vacay from exercise and diet. Is he talkin' to me? *hmph*

Last time on a cruise, Indiana Pam (why does that sound like cooking spray…oh…right) gained 7lbs. Not w/Trainer Kim in the hizouse.

StTWA, in black *shank*, is here.

Do they really need her hosting them on the cruise? Methinks she's a stowaway.

Bob puts his team thru a grueling circuit. Gawd his hair is gruesome looking.

Trainer Kim put her peeps in the pool.

I was really excited to watch the show this week, but when I learned it was 2 hours, something deflated. Overall, I was like meh, add to that feeling the DSL was down, so liveblogging was out the window, I just made some general observations, which of course will be accompanied with pictures.

[Update: even NBC don't have pictures ready. Nevermind.]

Well, um. Okay.

Red Team, Trainer Kim's bunch, won both challenges. Blue Team, a really close touchy feely bunch sent home the single mom, Texas Tiffany. She started at 255 and doing it alone at home went up and down a few lbs and is now in the low 200's. I thought they would've sent home Alabama Melinda, since she lost the least, 15lbs, of the entire team. But their rationale was, they wanted to send home a strong determined person who they knew would keep going. Tiffany it was.

Thank the lord next week is only an hour and hopefully by then, my DSL will be back up.

Oh and if StTWA wears a knee length black sweater w/black pants to the beach one more time...she's getting shanked.

Normally I do minute by minute live-blogging of The Biggest Loser, but a 2 hour season premiere meant: Nuh uh.

Instead, I'll just wrap up what I thought about the show and starting next week the real recap begins.

The Hostesseseseses:
In the first ½ of the show StTWA seems to have just worn a bra under her blazer, w/one button dangerously coming close to busting those puppies loose. And what's w/the "Jell-O $250,000 prize"? Is that a gimmick? @ the end of it all is Bill Cosby gonna come out w/250 grand of Jell-O products. I would riot.

Oh Bob, even when he tries to be mean, saying people come to the show expecting hugs thinking they know him but not this season, he's still such a softie. There was a scene where he chewed them up about working out and right before he left the house practically said, "Does anyone need a hug?" …give it up angel boy, you are no Jillian.

Speaking of Jillian, I hate to admit it, but, I didn't miss her. @ least not like I thought I would. The new girl, Kim, is okay. Perky enough. Almost too perky. A little more perk and she would've ventured over into bugs me territory. She has an amazing body, and seems to be trying to be herself, not another Jillian.

The Contestants:

Season three of NBC's hit reality show "The Biggest Loser" will feature 50 contestants representing every state in the country when the new season premieres with a special two-hour episode on Wednesday, September 20 (8-10 p.m. ET).

[snip]

hosted by Caroline Rhea ("Sabrina the Teenage Witch") [bwah! even NBC calls her StTWA, okay they forgot to add 'Aunt']

[snip]

Bob Harper returns as the blue team trainer and new to the show this season is red team trainer Kim Lyons.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ::gnashes teeth::

Where is my Devil Girl…how dare they not have Lucifer incarnate, Jillian?!?!?

This really bums me out. I don't even want to watch that stupid show anymore. But, I know you guys live for my recaps so, I'll be brave. My heart will go on.

Team…*whimper*…red…*sniffle*…all the way….*sob*…fare thee well Jillian….*honk*

For old time's sake:

Just to review how this works, liveblogging is actually a misnomer. I do my commentary as the show airs, aside from fixing blatant spelling errors or misspelling of a name, I post my thoughts as the show unfolds vs. a summary of the show.

Later, when NBC gets some pics up, I plug them in along w/the commentary and below the picture I note if I got my recap correct or some other sarcastic remark.

Now that that's all cleared up, let's begin:

[2/2 Update! NBC was nice enough to post pics on their site, so I've added some here to go along w/the commentary. Freaky how close I got it. And I fixed the spelling of Toni's name. Man I must have been really beat since it didn't even occur to me to use an I. I kept thinking people will be so confused when I say Tony and the word "she" behind it. Also took the time to remove the extra L from Daniela since she's now my 2-hour-a-day-work-out hero.]

********

Spoiler alert, don't read if you haven't seen the show. I did this on the fly so there will be extra typos and bad grammar to deal with.

Pre show

Reminder collage from last week, showing summary of how families got on the show.

Key moments, Blue Team (BT) Robert yelling, "You can't do this to people", Red Team (RT) Emily diagnosed with early stages of diabetes, damn again.

After 10 days on the ranch, the fams return home, lots of video confessionals ahead. Looks like they got gym equip, and trainers will be stalking them.

They'll spend the next 6 months maintaining new regimen, worrying about the competition, and tonight we will find out which fam gets their just deserts...cornball announcer said that not me

cue theme music. No singing from Renee tonigt, Renee is pooped. Bah.

Spoiler alert, don't read if you haven't seen the show. I did this on the fly so there will be extra typos and bad grammar to deal with.

9:00

Sabrina the Teenaged Witch Aunt aka StTWA introduces the 2 families, both work in restaurants.

Red team is from the Bronx, NY cooking pasta & pizza in Little Italy.

Blue team from Peoria Illinois, cooks burgers & fries @ a 50's styled diner.

Up for stake $50,000. Why oh why didn't the couples take the cash. Oh never mind, I'm done w/them.

Video confession time. The diner family, dad is the cook, wife and two sisters.

Parents are doing this for their kids. They get trainer Bob who will give them the recipe, heh pun very intended I'm sure, for living a healthy lifestyle.

Um...he calls them as they are...sitting around a table eating?

Little Italy Family – all cousins and 1 daughter. Typical New Yorkers, lots of bravado.....I love them already.

Bring on Scary Jillian.

Again family sitting round the table about to eat. Methinks NBC plans this.

In terms of scary factor, I think Jillian has met her match w/that Robert dude.

Both fams head to the ranch meet StTWA & each other. Obligatory showing favorite food temptation goes down.

Makes me wonder, is that food real? What does NBC do w/it? Donate it to the hungry?

Up next, [sarcasm]every woman's favorite thing in the whole word[/sarcasm], public weigh ins.

Spoiler alert, don't read if you haven't seen the show. I did this on the fly so there will be extra typos and bad grammar to deal with.

Pre show
Last week I didn't pay much attention to the show, could barely remember the names, but by the end I liked it so much I decided to do weekly recaps. Here goes:

9-ish
Summed up last week. Am I the only one who thinks for 50g's I'd rather elope and use the cash for something else. 50gs for a wedding? Really?

Red team guy aka Steve wanted to tackle his fiancé...ahh, so that's where Ryan Philippe got the let-me-tackle-my-wife-in-public idea from...HIM!

Oh, someone got a roomful of fitness equipment. Was it just me thinking I'd put all that fitness equip on eBay and take the cash? I was. Oh.

They just showed the pile of money. Seriously, I'd take the loot.

Heh, scary Jillian. Love her.

Red team, aka Sarah/Steve is on. That's a helluva welcome home. How long were they gone again? 2 weeks?

55lbs lost in 2 weeks? That's my goal for this damn year.

Are you kidding me their family laid out all that food for them on their first day back losing weight?!?!

First off, great show.

I mean to see extremely to severely overweight people shed hundreds of pounds is nothing short of inspiring. They were like sculptures and after burning off layers and layers of fat what emerged what awesome. That's why I think people who make fun of or discriminate against fat people are lame. It's like the corny saying goes, "I can always lose weight but you will always be ugly".

All the losers looked beautiful and radiant, especially my Suzy, yes she's mine I claimed her.

Onto my observations. Keep in mind, by nature I consider myself to be a social critic, in that I observe my surroundings w/a fairly critical eye, I don't pick on things to be a whiny complainer nor are my standards so high I'm never satisfied. I guess if I had a newspaper job, I'd be on the opinion page, b/c I'm full of it. Opinions I mean. You knew that already.

Let's get to it: