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February 01, 2008
The Story of Bynx
On Sunday in November, a few weeks before Thanksgiving, my mother and I went to look @ a few houses in anther neighborhood. I didn't really want to drive, hated wasting gas and playing chauffeur, but I figured I'd exact my revenge by getting her to spring for lunch. On the way back, I took a diff't route to the Kroger shopping center, dropped her off so she could pick up a few things while I went to Burger King. One thing I hate more than being a chauffeur is wasting time. Though I still did by having to wait for her to finish shopping.
When she came out of Kroger, I went to get her and we headed home. It was beautiful day, warm too and I started to roll down the window and as I neared big lots, I heard a loud mew. Glancing back in my rear view mirror to see if I ran over something, i saw a couple of men on the edge of the sidewalk, swinging tan balls of fur in their arms, and heard another set of mews. That second, I made a sharp U-turn, scaring the beejesus out of my mom and I couldn't even talk b/c I finally found what I was looking for, a kitty the same color as my beloved Sunshine.
We pulled over to gawk @ them, 3 tiny balls in varying stages of stress and they handed them to use, one @ a time, as I ooohed and ahhed and my mother sat straight backed in the passenger seat. One for 420. By the time we got the last one in, all small enough for me to hold in two hands, they said we could have all three. I knew that wasn't going to happen, so I tried to find the girl.
The men had no clue of course, and they were so fuzzy, people were staring, one kept crying (definitely a no-no since no crybabies were allowed in this house) it was a parking lot, so I tried to decided on which of the two, as my mother tried to find out where they came from.
They were absolutely beautiful in color, looked like show cats, and she got varying stories of the mother dying, they didn't know where the mother was and didn't know how old they were either. I kept jostling her to pay the man, but she had no cash so she had to go to big lots while I sampled the snuggles. When she came back, I let her make the final choice and we picked the one that looked the most feminine and just like that, we had a new addition to the family.
I went back to Kroger to stock up on baby foods and brought her home to meet Callie.
The drive home was uneventful, she was so quiet, and so freaking cute, but smelly. She smelled like old people, but she was mine and we began to think of names, which I thought was premature as we didn't even know what her personality was like, which is how I name things. MY mother of course said Sunshine and I vehemently shook my head, no matter how cute this cat was, she was not going to replace my sunny. I said Sandy, nah, and we kept heading home.
Callie didn't take to well to the stranger kitty, that was her tough luck and I spent most of that evening gawking @ her and getting her to bond w/her own toy. She was still so very quiet, which was good, and we weren't sure of her age so we did give her some soft kitten food, which she greedily ate. So greedily, she picked up the Styrofoam plate in her mouth and tried to hide it.
The rest of that first week was a blur. I remember googling to see how to get her into the cat modeling business, she had a cute way of standing up on her hind legs like she was begging, her eyes were blue, she must have just learned to walk b/c when she chased a piece of string, she flattened her body against the floor like a dust mop. She was so freaking furry i stared to call her Kodi, as in Kodiak Bear, and by this point, my mom who was w/her 24/7 decided to call her Binky.
As week 1 led to week 3, we started to notice our little girl was turning into a boy, which was a big no no. The face was feminine, she looked dainty, but whiskers started to sprout in places only male cats would grow them, and there was that fuzzy lump between her legs.
I think it was 6 weeks in it was confirmed, she was a he, as I picked her up and scolded, you tricked us!
I've been working a lot the last 3 months so my mom bonded w/Binky the most. She had to drive back to SC the week after Xmas and by this point, if you put Binky in a room by him/herself (we still called her she from time to time) he/she would cry like he was being abandoned. Also by this point, he and callie had a stand offish relationship, callie would look @ me like what is this thing and for days when it was still warm out, I'd let her out so she wouldn't be upset. Some times I thought she was going to run away for good as she'd look back and give Binky a withering look and jump out the window. But she always came back and eventually learned to tolerate the kitten.
Not knowing much about introducing 2 cats, I did what instinctively felt right, kept binky locked in my moms room all day, plus the house was a mess, and we could keep their food separate and slowly let them see each other till callie was ready for more.
The first few weeks, just the smell of him on me elicited growls and looks of betrayal. I'd be locked in my mothers room cooing and poking, them come into my room w/callie sitting in the middle of the floor staring @ me, feeling like i got caught cheating on my spouse, Oh hey there Callie, I didn't expect to see you today, I'd stammer and stick out my hand to nuzzle her behind the neck.
Eventually binky grew wise to realize there was a world outside the room, my mother grew weary of being locked in a room w/a stinky litter box and whether they were ready or not, it was time to meet. I knew Callie wouldn't hurt him, she's to bashful, i was actually more worried he'd have some disease, but she had her shots and we just let them meet on their terms.
Again, December is a blur, @ the peak of working, I was doing something like 90 hours a week, but what got me through it all was the thought of coming home to my "girls". They were reality for me. No matter how bad my day was, I knew when I came in, they'd cheer me up. Each week we left them alone more and more, I can't say they became friends, but the dayI saw callie chase him, I knew she'd be okay. He was getting big, becoming more male, his paws meaty, his nose area looking more snoutish by the day. Early January, New Years Eve Eve to be specific, I got a really bad head cold and a hacking cough. While i was able to go back to work in a few days, i had a lingering scratchy voice, which became the perfect way to yell, "BINKY!" it was all gravelly, just like him.
My mother kept insisting he was the devil and one day was going to cut her throat. He had this habit of walking across her face, pausing only to give her a bite on the nose, as he made his way to the stack of pillows to go to sleep. I wish I had a pick of him sleeping on her head, both paws splayed across her cheek.
I couldn't let me come into my room @ night, he was too hyper and would rile callie up so during the day, i'd let them socialize, when she looked like she had enough or it was time for my bed time, I'd lock the door and eventually he'd go into his bed.
A few Saturdays ago, I stared to let him go outside, much to my moms chagrin, he loved it. he'd eat grass, romp in the leaves and it was the one place callie genuinely would play w/him. no growling, no hissing. i think it was b/c there was no corner for him to pin her up against.
I decided to teach him how to climb a tree and took his feather toy, well actually callie's toy but somehow in the last few months ALL her toys became his and once he slobbered over them, she was done w/it. He climbed up chasing the feather then I'd take him down. I brought him inside and continued to work on cleaning up the front yard, when my mother opened the door. Binky ran down the stairs and up the tree, and we laughed, and he kept going up the tree and higher and higher as our laughter turned into LOL..LMAO..OMG..WTF??
I finally had to go up to bring him down, but each time that little devil got a chance, he ran str8 up the tree. One day my mother had to go out and she said she stood out there till her finger turned blue, and said fine you stay up there. When she came back, he was gone, turns out he was under the house and cried for her when she pulled up. From that day on, he never went back up the tree...lol...he'd get 2 paws on it and then turn away as we wondered how traumatized he must have been and maybe he was scared str8 b/c living across the street from a park meant we'd be in for a world of hurt if he was truly a climber.
In January, as Binky got bigger, looking almost as big as Callie some days, I started looking for clinics for him to get all his shots and finally neutered. My mother didn't want him neutered believing it'd take away his spunk (no pun intended) and he'd gain weight and become a lazy cat (a dig @ callie for sure) but I was insisted, he'd start to mark the house and roam and plus one day I caught him hugging callie from the back licking her ears, which my mother say, oh my that sounds erotic, i howled.
I'm getting tired so let me get to the point.
This morning @ 4:04AM we got the call, Binky died.
The details of his death are so confusing and up to this point, I managed to type up that entire story w/out breaking down, but I don't think I can end it the same way, it just hurts too much. I loved him. I didn't think I did, he was such a pain in my ass sometimes. He always had shit stuck in his butt, I caught in in the nick of time from peeing on my pants, 9 times out of 10 he had stuff in his nose and eyes, he smelled like whatever he was last touching, freshly laundered sheets, litter box, you name it. He was willful and stubborn, I almost named him Willie. He was greedy and stole food, he bit and had started back going up tree, he even ran into the park, somewhere callie never dared to go. He was needy and if you locked him in the bedroom for his own good, he'd howl like he was being murdered.
Last night, I had him sleep in my room so he wouldn't eat anything after midnight and it was cold so I didn't want callie out in the house, though I know they'd both keep me up, and they did, well him mostly. He's only slept in my room twice since we got him and I always tell him keep quiet, if I hear his little bell dingle, he's out of here.
Till I was ready to go to bed, him and callie rough played and he harassed me by clawing his way up my wicker desk chair and forcing himself into the space between the back of the chair and my back. He knew I was the defender of callie so when I'd get up to scold him, he'd scamper under the bed, just far enough that his little face and paws where sticking out as he laid on his back. NO matter how much of a pest he was, you couldn't stay mad @ him for long.
Every other hour, I'd hear the jingle a of the bell when he'd wake up and I'd put him under the covers as callie slept on the other side of me, he'd wind down and would inch his way further down the bed, stop and nap for a few minutes till he hit the bottom, jump down and jump up to harass callie again.
Around 5am, fuck 12 hours ago, he kept trying to jump on the chest, b/c he knew the cat food was on the other chest and as much as I took him down, each time he'd run faster and faster to try to make it back and being all napped out, no amount of putting him under the covers worked. Blessedly, my mom came to get him so they could head out and by that point, he was sleeping snuggled up against me and I remember handing him over to her, she said come here boo boo, and that's the last time I held him.
I didn't want to see him sick, but when we were told he was @ the emergency room, as soon as they opened we went over. That was the worst car drive in my life. they let us in the back to see him and all i know is he was in a box, lying on a purple blanket and I said to myself, he will never come home again and backed out of the room sobbing as my mother stood next to him trying to understand what exactly happened.
I'd like to believe he knew we were there, the machine that beeped in a pattern, it varied beeps one time, when the vet tech left the room and it was my mom standing next to him. i was still by the door and could barely see his eyes, but i thought they opened and closed a bit.
the doctor came in and gave us the signs that were positive, i dont feel like recalling that memory b/c it was all for naught.
I hate that this happened. I feel like it was my fault. I should've never forced her to take him to that vet or tried to get all his shots done or most importantly sent her to the clinic b/c it was cheaper. from what we were told he may have had a allergy to the anesthesia that a blood test could have detected. I am so sorry Binky. I am sorry you died alone, I am sorry you were in scared and in pain and your last coherent moments you were growling b/c you were angry.
i fear my mom will take this harder than i, as he was her constant companion for 2 1/2 months str8. i was so looking forward to this, my first weekend since quitting the 3rd job, just to be w/my 2 kitties and how much things i had to look forward to w/him.
How can a bundle of fur and whiskers that has only been in my life less than 3 months have me reeling like this? I'd give anything to take yesterday back and just have my pesky willfully stubborn kitty back in tact.
You were with us for less than 3 months, but what I loved most about you was, you LIVED. I will never, ever forget you.
Be safe wherever you are, and if you see Sunny, give her a lick, just from me.
Posted by Renee at February 1, 2008 05:18 AM